Fuck off.

The last thing I need is for my family to fall apart. Again.




I'll make your life a living nightmare if you ever hurt my Mother again. That's a promise. Don't come acting all motherly and concerned with me. The day you made my family fall apart will be the last thing you ever wanted cause I swear I will kill you with my bare hands.

Fuck off bitch.

Raye Day #1

Having a split headache now. Just got back home cause Mother refused to stop gossiping with the MakCiks next door. Masya'Allah. Baru abes Ramadhan da mengumpat balik. Astargfirullah.

And to the kuprak 6th floor neighbour, kau gile ke pe ? Dah pukul 12 lebih, tak tau erti tido ... mase bukak lagu raye sekuat-kuatnyer. Kau ingat ni bapak kau punye HDB flat, gile betol. Polis dah datang pun, maseh nak raye kat rumah. Go tido lah kepale kuntrat.

I think I might have piled on 10 more kilograms today. I must not check my weight till the end of the year.

(BEFORE) Baru bangun tido.

















(AFTER) Chey, chey. Extreme makeover.

















Err, setan makeover.




















The Nightmare and the Rotten Granny. God, my room reeked of mothballs after Rotten Granny attempted to stash the packets of mothballs in my closet.















Makcik2 gossiping.



















Family; JJ shiok-sendiri.















Lovely-ness.














First Lady Models.

End.

10 more minutes to breaking of fast. Which means it's nearly the ending of Ramadhan.

If you asked me, I never liked celebrating Hari Raya. Never found any specialty in it anyway (maybe except looking at gorgeous cousins and lovely neighbours). What craposity.

I hate endings. I don't want Ramadhan to end.

Screwed.

I know it's completely pointless as to quarrel with you, but then again, spare a thought for me. All you could come up is just a sorry, it's always been sorry this, sorry that. I could do the same too but chose not to. And I can't believe you actually said that being angry doesn't get me anywhere but think again, how would you feel if I did that to you so many times? Feel nonchalant or possibly happy ? Let me rephrase this for you ... you would feel totally fucked up. Yes, fucked up. I've wasted my time. If you had any conscience, you'd call me instead of waiting for me to message you and hear you apologize for the umpteenth time.

Whatever it is, I'd still want to say sorry. For everything I did. But believe me, as much as you had a bad day, I had mine too.

Evil Aunties.

It's Sunday and I really can't work up any real enthusiasm for school tomorrow. Other than meeting my mates and going home with Bini B Bodek, there's nothing much in school actually. What a pity.

Wanted to blog yesterday but I supposed I got carried talking with Fad. Mind you, we started talking at about 8.45pm and finished at about 4.50am. 8 hours of talking crap and laughing hysterically like mad loons was no feat. I thought I was going to have a fit from giggling too much, discussing about intercourses, marriage and sex. Life's cool when Fad's around.

Speaking of which, I was nearly attracted to one of the pictures I got (okay, I kebas the pictures) from Fad. Honestly, Fad the Useless Bestfriend looks almost like a guy (a gorgeous one, while at it) and I'd most probably date her if she was one. Ouhlalala, Fad the useless Bestfriend looked absolutely great being a guy.

Evil Aunties invaded my home yesterday, making a mess out of everything. Lucky Rotten Granny didn't come along with them. I would have committed suicide if she did.

Tale of the Rotten Granny.

Each time I come back from Fad the Useless Bestfriend's place, I swear that she has the best family and somewhat hoping that her Mother could adopt me or something.

Fat hope, such wishful thinking.

And I've always thought Amir was somewhat cute. Err. Let's not get on that topic, now.

Planning to buke again at Fad's place again next week. I just can't get enough of that place. I mean, it's because of dear Fad, I got to meet Ze AmazinglyAzam. Talk about pure hotness.



Rotten Granny's coming tomorrow. Completely fucked up, actually. I never did quite like her. Mind you, she actually arranged my undies and bra neatly, according to colour. I mean who in the name of Abraham Lincoln's swimming costume does that? Holy shit.

Before I die.

I have long given up hope, trying to wrap the Nisai Woman's present. I have wasted loads of wrapping paper and each final touch was much worse than the previous one. Even Smeagol wrapped nicer than I did.

Good Lord.

Never, never, never again will I attempt to wrap anything else. I officially admit that I suck in gift-wrapping.

10 things I must try/do before i DIE:

1. Strangle Khidir; that's a complete must
2. Snog Gig for all the night's worth
3. Poison Mother's drinks
4. At least get Robert's/Jesse's autographs
5. Go on a once-in-a-lifetime date with Azam
6. Again, strangle Khidir cause he gets me mad
7. Impersonate Bopperdoo for a week
8. And perhaps strangle Grandfather too
9. Go America, and give Bush the middle finger
10. Kill Fadli the Useless Exboyfriend

I hearts you.

Just got back from Dennis's place. No, I won't take back what I said yesterday - he's really one lucky bastard. I've always been amazed by his family and house, now that I've been in his room (with Collette too ... we were'nt doing anything if that's what you've been thinking) ... it's just woah. Can you believe, Dennis's got his very own little kitchen where he can make cups of tea and toast and everything! Talk about COOL! Life's not fair - when I think about my parents, I reckon I must have been what's called ' an accident of birth '.

Mother's making me eat some of her newly-made, poisonous cookies. If I should not live to tell that tale about the ghastly cookies, dear Lord ... please forgive me.

Am having loads of difficulty wrapping the Nisai Woman's gift. Not that surprising though. The last time I wrapped Zackeroony's present, I wasted 4 wrapping papers and it still turned out pretty ugly. Gosh.

I *hearts* YOU, Cedric!!

Lucky bastard.

Phoned Dennis on his house phone (I can't get through his mobile), and the best I could get through is his Mother. Apparently Dennis has been puking daily every since we got back from LeAnne's house.


' I'm afraid Danny's not feeling his best today,' says Mrs Ming (his mother, that is). ' He doesn't seem to respond much ever since last Friday, except something about trying to grab hold some girl's ample chest and being thrown out. We even found a rather large bikini top (well, that's what I heard from Mrs Ming) when we put him to bed. Thank you so much for bringing him home, Hayati dear.'


Man, she calls me Hayati. If her tone wasn't so motherly and nice, I would have reminded her to call me Yatt. I can't believe that family. If i were to arrive home drunk having been thrown out of the party for trying to fondle a guy's little magical treasures, I'd never hear the end of it. To them, it seems like it happens everyday. Dennis's right ... he's one lucky bastard.


Oh Robert, Robert ... Please get out of my head. I'm already trying to imagine you naked. Good Lord.

Right where you want me.

Baby, take me on a journey

I've been thinkin lately

I could use

A little time alone with you

Crazy, let's do something maybe

Please don't take your time

You've got me right where you want me

Lust.

Nothing much today. Been snogging Robert's pictures and spent the day away fantasizing loads. Call me insane, if you must. But sighs, it's definitely better than wasting time falling in and out of love. I think I'll stick to lust in the future, it's much safer.

And to Khidir, you literally drive me insane when I spend my precious hours talking to you. Sorry, mate. But I have had enough. Really am sorry about it.

Shall do more snogging with Ced's photographs while waiting for Nisai the Misai Woman to come online.

Completely addicted.

Completely addicted to dear Robert Pattinson.

Yes, I'm that mad. I've have his wallpaper on my handphone, mp3 and on my computer. I've decorated my cupboard with his pictures and printed his half-naked boncit pictures. He gets me woozy and drives me insane (literally); I think about him 24/7.

LaaLaaDeeDaa.

Went to Mr Chua's father's funeral. Chatted quite alot with him. Mind you, I was elated when he addressed me as Princess Yatt. Lovely, lovely. I guess Mr Chua is somewhat coping well and he looks cute while at it (no, I'm not fancying him, if that's what you're thinking). Only Zackeroony, Bini B Bodek, Yammy, Sumimi and me made in the evening. Broke fast at Food Culture at Century Square (Bini B Bodek brought her boyfriend along). I'll have to admit that Syam/Syai (whatever his name is) was extremely funny and yeah, he's pretty good for Bini B Bodek. I love happy endings.

Lovely-ness.



















Zackeroony, The Class Treasurer, Monitor #1, Monitor #2 and Bini B Bodek.





















Izzah muke stoink.












Zacky, Si Bodek and Bini Mat Kaki.

















In the neoprint booth.

Happy Birthday, Mate.

Not gonna blog much. Just wanna wish dearest Nissy the Mad Woman, ''Happy, Happy 19th Rotting Birthday!!''

Yes, I know I made an extremely crap-ass picture and a lame powerpoint presentation but hey, it did make you cry somewhat. And that's all that matters. And I beginning to get obsessed with Robert Pattinson that I'm seeing his head on top of everyone's body.

It's that bad. *faints*. I love you, Oh Robert Pattinson !!

Hang on a minute, I think I hear a mad woman hovering around.

'' Hayati, open the door ... I want to talk to you.''

Damn, I thought it might be Robert Pattinson or Jesse McCartney who might call in about this time for a quick snog. But sadly no, It's Mother. What on earth is she doing, knocking on my door at this point of the night ? I was right about her being mad. I decide not to say a word, but shove my headset on so that she'll get the idea that I'm sleeping. Mamat the Fat Hamtaro, ever poised for action, wakes up and begins to lick in a place where only hamsters can lick. I looked at the door and notice that the door handle's beginning to turn slowly.

Hmm, I supposed Mother is turning into Psycho (you know the movie with that mad loon goes on a killing spree)

Have I locked it? Yes, thank the God Almighty. I wouldn't want Mother to catch me snogging Cedric's poster. And there are several hentai (yes, laugh ... I love reading Japanese Hentai Anime crap) comics. And a picture of Robert Pattinson half-naked. Bloody hot.

Okay, I admit he isn't that hot in the half-naked picture. But I still love him all the same.

Am currently so so so bloody addicted to Robert Pattinson (the gorgey guy who played Cedric Diggory in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire). He's just oh-so-bloody-perfectly-gorgeous. *Swoons* I might actually admit that he is definitely more gorgeous (and adorable ... the list goes on) than Ze AmazingLyAzam! Talk about heavenly super hot boys.

Happy, Happy Birthday to dear Drunkard Dennis and Cuzzy Remy !!

Am still vair, vair tired. Father's still forcing me to Qilamulail. Damn. Not that I'm not pleased to go to the mosque or anything but yesterday ... there was this faggotty PakCik who mistook for me for Father's new wife.

Faggotty PakCik : Dahlan ! Bini baru kau ni ?

Father appeared shocked and was lost for words.

I felt like saying (to that PakCik), ''Kau bute ke gile ... aku anak die lah setan. Skali aku kungfu pantat kau, baru kau tau''. After which, I could end the conversation by kicking him in the nuts.

But on 2nd thought, the alley was bit dark. So maybe that faggotty Pakcik is indeed blind. I would rather commit suicide than to get married at this age. Who in the name of Queen Anne's pantyhose wants to marry me anyway ?

Bloody Hell.

Just came back from Geylang. Vair, vair tired I am. Can barely dragged myself out of the toilet. Mind you, I was slightly tempted to sleep in the toilet. My head's bloody itchy. Come to think, everywehre's itching. Shall go bath all over again. 20 more lovely minutes to breaking of fast. LaaDaaDeeDaa.

Father planned to go Qilamulail-ing again tonight. Was bit tiring yesterday when we went to Mosque at 2.30am in the morning. Needless to say, I spent the hours away, sleeping at the Mosque ... with 3 sejadah under my head and one more to cover my ginormous bum.

I have to lose more weight and I'm not having much success on it.

Damn.

I still have to say that yesterday's buke with Only_Usmates and the Johns were definitely better than last year's. Furthermore, it was great when some of us girls started linking arms. It was a nice feeling though, and I certainly hope this isn't any signs of me being a lesbian. I mean, after all ... I do find gays fascinating. Yummy.

5 best moments I had when breaking fast with 'em

1. Joking while waiting for the food to come ... and that Ashar guy, eventually gave up his food.
2. Having to joke with Bini B Bodek throughout the journey.
3. Momo being excited cause she saw Roslan the Gayboy (she did linked arms with me!).
4. Nana holding on to my hand, with Izzah at front and Bini B Bodek tugging behind me.
5. Enjoying the sight of gorgey people. Ouh ... major major hotness.

I know I shouldn't make fun of Nana's pinky pimple yesterday. Cause when I woke up today ... I gave a absolutely gigantic pimple ... sitting in the middle of my chin. What craposity.

My head's super itchy. Crap. Went Orchard to break fast with Only_Usmates and the Boyz. Was super great, actually. I reckoned Mad actually does look sexy in shades. Had some Claypot Chicken thingy, not really that bad for a dish ... Was bit funny when the guy(Ashar) next to me, handed me over his food (he pushed the food towards Bini B Bodek 1st). As usual, I was with Bini B Bodek ... pretty much most of them time, and we went home together. Pity dear MoMo didn't her baju Raya. And Nana the Pimple Woman has a huge, cute pimple !

Didn't upload much pictures cause I looked pretty ugly in most of them. Was sweating like mad, plus the haze was irritating the crap outta me.


Candid picture - dear Momo and Tok Yus.















All of us cept Nana the Pimply Woman.





Hmmm ... the picture might be bright but it can't fool us ... You still have the pimple, Nana !

Ohyeah, the LeAnne's party happened like, yesterday ... not according to the current date.

And I'm still not satisfied with my blogskin. Diyana's stuff is soooo much cooler-looking than mine. Darn darn darn. And the Nisai Woman isn't online either. Where oh Where could you be, OhNisaiWoman? On top of dear Elfifie's lap or possibly in the toiletbowl of Drissy's home ? Lalala, I miss you already lah dengz.

Meeting Only_Usmates (without Hadah) and the Boyz for the breaking of fast tomorrow. Am so wearing my dear pinky dress (with ginormous brown flowers on it). Already planning my weekends with Gigg and following week with Fad the Useless-Bestfriend.

Am somewhat worried that I might actually ter-BATAL my fast yesterday. Sheesh. It was all Fad's fault when she started discussing about this mathematics teacher sexing this 17 year old girl and doing mathematics calculations while at it. Of all things to talk about ... we had to about raving about this and went on laughing and giggling, more laughing ... Almost pissed in my pants.

Which I did.

Yuck ... Kids, do not make a habit of pissing in your pants. It's utterly disgusting.

Urgh, I'm nineteen and I go around pissing anywhere. Utterly-Utterly disgusting.

Sheesh, I'll never hear the end of this ...





And I'm hungry. Darn the stomach.

LeAnne's party wasn't that bad as I had anticipated. I thought the party was supposed to have lotsa drinking and stuff, but surprisingly ... it didn't. Her mates, were (unexpectedly) cool. And somewhat gorgeous too. Yummy - Yummy. Of course, I didn't recognized most of her mates, so I stayed with Dennis most of the time. Nothing too special except there's a pretty sweet guy whose name was Adam or something. Unless I misheard his name ... it might have been Adam-tolol-something. Damn.

Just as the party was going well, there was a little scream in the kitchen. LeAnne's dad rushes in and drags out - you've guessed - Dennis, whose obviously found the alcohol-cum-punch and what looks like a rather large pink bikini top which he's wearing over his black T-shirt.

I dashed forward and volunteered to take him home. LeAnne's dad actually finds it funny, thank God, so no real harm's done. Just as I'm about to leave through the gate, I looked back over my shoulder and see Adam-tolol-something giving me a rather sad wave. Sighs. I still don't know his full name. Text-ed Evvy and begged her to come help me haul Dennis into the taxi. Mind you, he's pretty tall and skinny but bloody heavy.

Went for terawih prayers after that. Imam AmirAmir is so gorgey-ouh-gorgeyness.

*LoveyDoveyMode*

Oh Imam AmirAmir, I so wanna marry you !!

Went shopping with dear Momo and Nana. Bought a pink dress (after dear Momo convinced that I could actually fit myself in). Had fun, choosing 'em clothes cause Momo kept recommending the sort of clothes (with loads and loads of flowers on it) that Mother wore during her prom nights in 1980s. So the zaman-a-go-ago but yeah, I've bought a dress with nice, nice flowers on it. Shall wear 'em tomorrow. Laadaadeedaa.

And dear Lordy FazzyMorty has a blog now. How lovely. And he's very much fascinated by Bapuks!! I guessed I'm not the only weird one. Anyone who has an obsession about gays ... please do tag !! Your comments will be very much appreciated.

Mother's pretty pissed with me and has even gone to the extend of confiscating my Mp3 cause I was listening to Christmas songs instead of Hari Raya songs. Yeah, I've even uploaded so many lovely Christmas songs. Wee Weeeee.



Lalalala. Merry Buke to All !

Having fun actually, watching gay/flash films at Youtube. It's been quite a while though, but I'm still pretty much sobbing the fact that this gay fella died before his gay boyfriend confessed his undying *love* for him. I admit, I've always been fascinated by gays. They're are just oh-so-bloody-hot and yummylicious, while at it. WeeWeeee.

And talking to Kid the Creep (hmm, it even rhymes) was no feat. I almost died (literally) having to put up with him all the time.

And did I mentioned Kid, yes ... Kid the Creep attempted to moan and groan on the phone ? It seemed to me he was sexing the phone, more like it. Good heavens. I thought I'd pissed myself laughing. What a mad, mad world.

Hmmm, come to think of it, I can hear the eff-ed up neighbour karaoke-ing now. It's 3.05am in the morning and the loon is singing, ''Kopi Dangdut''. Kopi Dangdut, kepale otak kau setan. Sekali aku naik gi rumah kau, potong kepale kau ... baru kau tau. I'm oh-so-torn, in between calling the police or just going up to personally choke him to death. Mad retard.

I am still in a ditherspaz about what to wear. I've been through all my clothes about a million times and all I can come up is some ketinggalan zaman clothes (the ones people wear during Ice Age). Mother surprisingly didn't kill me in the morning. How lovely. I thought I was going to be murdered today. Lalala.

Tried on the White Princessy-cum-wedding gown Baju Kurung again. Mother ruffled my hair (vair annoying) and went all nostalgic. More ruffling and more not-so-anticipated words. I thought I might have looked like Princess D in her wedding dress by the time she finished. Then, just when I got my full kit on, my silly moo of a Mother suddenly came over all misty-eyed and kissed me because she reckoned I looked so grown-up and wasn't her little girl anymore. Gosh. Talk about creeposity.

I looked more like a flouncing hippo in a wedding gown.

What a fiasco. I will never wear those stuff again.

Having a nervy spaz now. 15 more minutes to dreaded results. Mati Mati Mati. Darn the Nisai the Misai Woman for being calm about it.

I hardly sleep a wink on Monday night, thinking how on earth am I going to explain to Mother that I've torn one of her clothes. Actually, I forced myself into that bloody dress and it went Zzzzt-Zzzzt-Zzzzt till the knees. Mati mati mati aku. I am prepared to be slaughtered later in the morning. I might as well start doing my prayers, seeing that Mother will kill me sometime soon.

This has to be the very lowest point of my life, and just to make it lower, Mamat the Fat-ass Hamtaro has already peed on my clothes and chewed my fingers. Even, my Hamster hates me.

What a lovely day. Not.

Hmmm, am going shopping with Mother again. I shall, again, start begging for more money cause I really need to go shopping all over again. Am completely broke (literally) and I haven't got money on me for Friday's buke. Damn. Worst still, I haven't got anything for the Misai Woman yet. Craposity.




Ouh ZeAmazingLyAZam. Such yummyness. I could eat him alive.

It's in the evening and I'm in my room - sort of sulking, cause Mother refused to let me come near the food. I wish I was dead. Well, maybe not actually dead - that's a bit final. What I really wished is that I could be a few years older so that I could really get off with Gig (did I mentioned Mother disapproves of him ?) But that's like wishing our rotten school would burn down.

I love reading Diyana's blog. Man, she has nice ways of expressing herself on her blog. Phew.

20 torturing minutes to breaking of fast. Dear God, let the time pass quickly for I am indeed hungry and am already beginning to chew on my fingernails and nearly starting on my toenails. Amin.




LaaDaa DeeDa. I haven't bought an outfit for Friday's outing! Crap.

Home again.

I have a huge, ginormous pimple ... smacked in the middle of my forehead.

Luckily, my new spot shows no further signs of eruption. It must be going through its dormant phase. Mind you, if it was a volcano, all the people living on the edge would be packing their bags and making for the foothills by now. It simply amazes me where spots come from. It's like they're creeping around inside your body trying to decide where to break out next.

Hmm, enough of the spotty business.

Well, what a crappy day it is ... skipped Madrasah for the fourth time. One minute ... my head's full of Gig, and whether I might just stand a chance with him afer all, and the next i'm thinking about Ze AmazinglyAzam. Gig-Azam, Azam-Gig, I just cant get my brain straight.

And that creep already got back from Malaysia. Needless to say, I feel somewhat happy. But then again ... sighs. I don't know. I'm too sure about it either. Crap.

And I'm very much worried about that creep who went to Malaysia. I mean, yeah ... he's (sadly) only a friend, but then again ... I do worry for my mates, especially this particular creep.

For all we know, he might already drowned himself in his Auntie's toilet bowl or got himself kidnapped by some mad Minah Kampong.

Hmmm, it really might happen.


What a useless creep. Come back lah ... I miss your joined-eyebrows ! And of course, your gorgeous mates.

Honestly, you'd think that World War Three had broken out outside my room. It's barely Sunday (1 and half hours after midnight) and that's 4 more hours to Subuh Prayers, but no ... Father had to start vaccuuming the house in the middle of the night, complaining that his room was full of dust. What a sad person, he is.

Yes, very sad indeed.

And he's forcing me to go Qilamulail with him. Sighs, I hope Ustad Topetity Love will be there.


I shall sneak into the kitchen again, am still vair hungry.